I wrote a post on the story behind Beltane yesterday, which posed some questions for consideration. It is no secret that for me Beltane has always been triggering and confusing time and the idea of the celebrations never rang true.
Over the last week I have been receiving flashes of insights, which today led me to this woman and her article. Scotland, of course, is at the centre of it. Why am I not surprised? I am blessed with how the land always points me to the answers I can make sense of and directions for me to take.
Particular symbols that did come up was colour yellow, cuckoo bird. Getting married or engaged in May, in my own country traditions have always been considered bad luck (now this is confirmed here). Amazing similarity. It is not such a jolly time and not as simple as unite in a sexual act and let things bloom. It is a major transition through a portal into summer – an important time for crops, animals, community, etc. It is on par with the importance of Samhain (never had any confusion with that one). It’s linked with luck, money, prosperity, being careful with respect and honour of the season that’s coming (summer) and so much more.
It is about saying good bye for now to the winter deity, which is my matron goddess, who this year is refusing to go. I hear her.
Enjoy reading this article and hope you get something out of it. My view of Beltane is now changed and finally settled in me.
What if the Maiden May Queen didn’t want to join the Green Man, get pregnant and give birth? What then? What if the story of Beltane was a different story? Would the earth not continue thriving in its cycles? Does it always require a union? These questions seem important to ask and I was thrown a different image this year of what it might mean in the overall presentation of life, this earthly dimension specifically. It feels important to bring this download into awareness of whoever is going to stumble upon this. Perhaps, you feel the same? Perhaps this Beltane is meant to be radically different? What would it look like in your magical world?
Tradition lies deep within our stories that had been told for millions of years over and over and I hear it sneaking into the earth story too. It is almost like I didn’t see it before, but right now it asks of me to go through its narrative and ask the important questions. Can nature exist and have its magic sovereignty without mixing in the union of the Maiden and the Green man? We all know what happens after, the power of the Sun takes over and one king replaces another, while the Queen is heavily pregnant. Beltane has always been triggering time for me over the years although I have come to a place of peace with the timing and historical manifestation of events, but I wonder what if a different story was attached to this time of year. Did it attach to May for a reason only to let me see later on what really happened collectively through the generations, not just my own, but globally.
There is still an exchange of power, one submitting to another (however willingly and mutual it is portrayed) and one giving birth while the other rules over the planets and the earth while the Maiden/Mother is in its most blooming state. Who has really got the most power here if you look at manifestations of nature?
I hear the critical parent/the punisher/the demon/the judge and the finger-pointer for sin, for heresy and how dare I even consider re-writing the story as old as time itself. This does include all religions whatever orientations. It is exactly the point to bring it out into the light. It can no longer stay where it’s been for so long. We all have to give ourselves permission to ask questions, to find what feels good to us and meet our needs in the cycle of life. Following something without a question is a loss of sovereignty that cuts down the roots of our inner wisdom and knowing.
I first received an inkling of this message in early April this year about this forthcoming Beltane and how there is another way of looking at it or rather why haven’t we until now? The sleep that we have been in and will continue to be in is deep. The joining of the Goddess and the God in a dance of fertility is wonderful and all good, but what if she didn’t want to join him or he didn’t want to join her come to that? The question of complete recognition and acknowledgement of their own sovereignty is paramount here. May be that aspect is laced with assumption from another story that underlines all other stories. She submits and he rules? Sounds quite superficial and made-up now that I say it out loud. Do you hear it? Perhaps, this act of joining needs to be redefined. What are their motivations, perhaps, they share the power, the process of growth, giving and receiving? Perhaps, they caretake the earth together? What I feel the strongest during this time, I suppose, is a possibility of polarization of these masculine and feminine energies and it is not surprising having looked at the history of the union and how it is looked upon by the story of this society. What we need to have in place is a self-reliance and allow ourselves to hear, see and speak a different story should we need to. It is ok not to agree and take charge of your own storytelling. I can’t deny I do feel sad having seen a different picture and heard a different story and realising stories are there often to create an illusion, not just to transmit wisdom. Not all the time clearly. Just think of what collective calls ‘the greatest story ever told’. Do you feel it now? It is during Beltane that any wounding around relationships would come up, but it is also time when we have the best chance to come to terms with what ailed us for so long and redefine a new path into the rest of the year.
Nature will continue with its cycles, which are a constant reminder of transitions and change and we must find comfort in that knowledge that there is always an opportunity to move on, to retell a different story and join the forces or not, whatever feels good to us. That IS ok.
This practice unfolded for me over the years revealing such gems from within my unconscious, which very often would align with what is needed generally in the world at any given moment. What a gift our intuition truly is. It takes us places wonderful and magic, which then lead to more magical experiences and connections. Nowadays there is no other way for me to write, but from the soul, spontaneously uttering words, which are ready to be spoken.
I also always find later on at some point, someone comes along, who clearly needs to hear that message that I previously blogged about and I can go to that piece and share it with the person in need passing on my experience whether it is an exercise, an image, a spell or some psychological healing technique or exploration.
It feels wonderfully embracing to be able to express myself, most of the…
Mental health issues are the result of the affliction of the soul, my belief still stands to this day, something I always knew since birth. For how long the lack of soul diving can sustain itself? It can live in suffering for a life-time, but then it is not a life, it is a compliance with what is structured and enforced, no more and no less. To me going against your soul is a crime, perhaps, the only real crime in this life-time. When going against your will and soul’s calling repeatedly a multitude of mental health problems occur. The good news, it can be changed once awareness is brought forward continuously, daily, with unwavering degree of dedication and commitment. It is an excavation work with of the highest order.
Imagine we as divine and unique beings that came here to manifest our gifts and express our essence instead got hijacked, plugged in and fed through a tube of enforced ideas and believes. Imagine we were given a life-script, which resembled almost word-by-word all the other scripts ever invented. Oh wait, there is only one script for all. We don’t need to imagine, do we? We comply and comply and try to implement a plan designed via this universally accepted script yet many fail and not just that but through trying so hard to cope with our own compliance our mental and physical health collapses, for some slowly for others quickly and dramatically. It is very simple and clear why that occurs, so you see?
We are not designed to be put in a box of what doesn’t feel good. In fact feelings are bad and simply of no significance or use and just nonsense according to this script, so forget feelings and just follow the script and that will be your life. Who are you to argue there’s something else out there? How dare you to consider anything else? What do you want to know yourself for when it is all laid out in front of you?
Issues arise when through suppression of our nature, urge, desire of the heart, creativity, freedom to speak and choose, living in a construct that suffocates most of us happen and it has been happening since the beginning of time. What if we fed our souls instead, what if we saw the truth of existence and the purpose of self-expression through life? All we need is to see, really see it all for what it is. There’s nothing to fear as your inner power had always outweighed any other power million times over. See into the external as if it was a film playing on the screen. How many times you’ve seen it before? Why is it on a loop? Try switching it off and tune into your inner story. There, that is new, interesting, vibrant waiting to be told. Extract the voice from within no matter what it takes as long as you hear it again after all this time. Tell your own original story to yourself quietly and savour every word. Let it come alive through words you speak and rejoice in its own narrative. How and why we forgot it? We know how and why; now we can see. We all fell for it as our parents did and their parents before them. We kept on falling until our knees didn’t bleed anymore, until there was no signs of any fall at all; out falling became automatic and invisible. ‘Just the way it is, just the way it is’, you hear parents say to a child when they ask a question why? Remember those whys and don’t want tos? We all heard in reply ‘because I said so, because it is just how it is, just something we always did and all we know’. Do you see the repetition in the cycle of deafness and blindness to our inner and giving out to the outer every time? We expect to be told what is what just like watching TV for instructors from government. Ask yourself who and what is government? The answer is staring us all in the face and always have done. We are a herd following the words of the so-called leaders, who are no more aware than we are. We are all just going in circles, afraid to get off the runaway train in case we fall and that time will notice the grazes, the blood. It is the blood that’s needed, a life released through feeling the pain accumulated within. All of us highly functioning individuals on depression and anxiety with coping mechanics so ingrained that we don’t think about it. We carry on regardless when all the time our souls scream in this hell that has been created for us and lured us in like blind into a place of suppressive deafness and mute submission.
What happens to all suppressed material it gets accumulated in our psyches like thick stagnated matter. It brews into dark manifestations and penetrates the unconscious; both collective and individual. What was once gifts turns into ‘demons’ we begin to see as enemies; something we need to go to war with. They erupt in violence, unspeakable acts against others and ourselves and others one by one join us in the war against our own goodness, our own awareness wanting to be known. We lose, we get even sicker, even madder, even more broken and so it goes on with more children born into this script, into this story of life that is death, devoid of soul speaking through us, into silence of what is to come.
Rise up from within, at least try. There is everything to gain if life is to feel content, balanced and our hearts soft and simply okay with whatever is here for us. We don’t surrender to external once we see it for what it is. It is follow and empty, it is grey and pointless. Why would we give any of our essence to that?
I live my life dreaming of my life. It is like a mirror that is turned away from my actual self. I could never find words before for what I experience living my life, but now I see how its back is turned to me and I can only watch it from a dream distance, from afar that is beautiful. It’s neither disconnection nor a merging. It is two ends of the same string that never meet, but always observing in proximity of one another. It is neither unreachable nor allowing to meet as if a suspension is what I experience without ever knowing if it is permanent or temporary. Does it hurt? Not always. What does it mean? I hope or rather have faith in the two ends meeting one day and if it is never to be I know there will be a reason.
For now I live my life dreaming of my life or seeing others live it right in front of me. It makes me cry so, it makes my heart move in awkward positions, it twists me on the inside but also awakens something deeply felt inside. That is a sign that it matters, it has meaning, it is yearning to be completed and so for as long as there’s that craving of the soul and I can see the other end I continue in observation of the life that is my life but not yet.
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