Do you know how you can feel stunted by pure hatred and ignorance. What does ignorance taste like? Bile, of yellow and beige, I think. The same vibe as jealousy. Well, being stunted is not like being in shock, but more like losing all of your senses, but feeing. No matter what you do, you can not stop feeling and you cannot get other senses back.
This happened in 2022. However, as I have discovered over the course of my life, in every tricky situation there is a blessing, a learning and even a transformation. And here I am, having spent the whole year stuck in a place of intense feeling, yet frozen and devoid of imagination and creative sparkle and that freeing sense of flow, I am claiming it all back. What I have felt through the emptiness and the ugliness of the physical and human was the beauty of the spirit. It’s defiance, strength, unwavering loyalty and an unshakable sense of purpose. This year will always stay with me as a year marking my homecoming in the most profound way. There might be and will be, no doubt, more of these periods coming, yet for today, I am here, sitting fully back with myself, writing again with all my senses back together in perfect partnership.
Life is ugly and stunningly beautiful. It is cruel and violent yet filled with tenderness and grace. It is challenging and complex yet profoundly simple. As one great writer once said ‘do not look closely at life’ meaning the beauty is in simplicity, life itself, day-to-day sparks of joy and just being alive. From tragedy come revelations. A brush with death can release and propel us into living harder.
Let us all remember to appreciate the journey and trust ourselves to know the right way forward even though quite often it is simply one day at a time, one step at a time, and when one day an expansive landscape opens up in front of us and we know we belong and feel that God within us like it’s our own heart, that’s what we all thrive for.
Grab that joy with both hands and run with it until our legs are exhausted in satisfaction of being able to feel the earth underneath us and our face hurts from smiling too much and all that light within is a feeling one can never explain only that it tastes sweet and it is pure like heaven on earth.
What of her in these times of destruction and division? She is angry and she is hungry. Furious at humanity and hungry for punishment and resolution.
The forest is on fire and the walls around her dwelling, which is now a fortress, are higher than they’ve ever been before.
The horsemen are dressed in black. Their armour heavy in readiness for destruction of its own kind – complete elimination of nature and all that is human. They are ready to carry out her will.
She’s furious and in mourning for humanity that is no longer… yet there’s an opening, a small one, a loose panel in her fortress wall for those, who are still aware of their soul; that element that remains unaffected, pure and unchanged. Hope it is not, but a connection to what they are from the root. She thinks of those, who have some memory of where to go to become whole again. However faint the memory is by now, it is still there and she smells it.
I feel small and insignificant in the face of all reality and such is my preference during these years. Resignation and tiredness are part of my day-to-day and only participation in watching it all burn remains. Hopeless anguish. Despite it all I wait for the time to rise again when the voice can be heard from the depth of the forest summoning the brave and crooked; open anew to learning; in eternal love for what remains of nature external and within. Even if only one tiny flower can be saved, it will be worth doing. If only one soul can be awakened, it will be worth the work and hardship. As one wise human said: ‘For as long as there is birdsong, we must listen.’
And for now, we scream, we rage and we sob until the sky above is cloudless once again and there’s renewed stillness in the heart.
Since the release of Intuitive Magic Practice I have received feedback from many women telling me their stories and how the book turned things around for them. Severe of them read it a couple of times and what has come out of it is an effect that was coded in, but needed the engagement of a reader to unlock the deeper message within.
You don’t even have to be a magical practitioner although material can change the way of looking at doing magic in a different unique way. You just need to be seeking a reconnection to knowledge that had been dormant within.
Women have decided to do things differently and began a journey of following intuition, which transformed things for them and brought changes that were needed for a long time in a way the book describes it could.
Among many things doing your magic and life your way/intuitive way can be a way of healing the internalised ‘shoulds’. Following emotions and your body alone and doing it in private, hidden ways; using an internal natural and healthy space within you can bring contentment and fulfilment to the work and life in general.
If you are a creature of the ‘dark’ in a good sense, prefer to be invisible and value your privacy and boundaries highly this way of doing magic can be just for you. If externalising your persona, participating in social gatherings and events, ‘dressing’ up, as others do, trigger you, then this is for you.
Have you always known that what the collective/external does is not something that feels good, then this is for you.
You can do what you what and how you want using only your inner voice, your body and your emotions.
There are certain aspects of magic that are important to observe and understand for yourself and I talk about that in the book, e.g. ethics, boundaries, conducting some rituals, etc. and working with others (if you choose to do that).
The way the book is structured is easy to use and incorporate/trial things out. There is information on a topic to start with, e.g. Intuition and Dreams or Intuition and Self-care. That follows up with a real-life example, exercises, a spell or two (listed below) where relevant, and sometimes a tip to make a note of.
Simple, intuitively weaved spells are powerful, as they manifest from within and your body and emotions always know what is best for where you are at a certain point. Thai work can be taken further into life and create mantras and affirmations, life hacks and psychological healing tools that will never let you down, as they are meant specifically by you for yourself.
There is potential in this book to change all. Please read and leave me a review or let me know how and what helped you on your way. I am fascinated by women’s stories of self-rediscovery.
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