The key to that heaven is within us all. It is up to us to unlock our own unique way of relating to life in what would feel blissful to us. It will be different for everyone depending on how one relates to all, processes information and what senses and functions dominate in one on an intellectual, emotional, psychical and metaphysical levels. It will also depend where you are at currently in life. Self-reflecting, e.g., as one of the most popular tools in recent psychological history, can actually create hooks, triggers and mental pitfalls that will drag us down further into a place where we eventually would become it. What if we tried to drop reflections, at least for a while. This is a new way of doing things that hopefully can create a strong enough anomaly that would allow you evolve in a new way.
What if we emptied instead of consolidate; cleared ourselves ready not to receive but to learn to just be before we do decide to let things in again. This will apply to all aspects of the emotional spectrum, negative and positive, but before we learn how we discern individually, as it will be different, we need to learn to empty or in other words ‘detach’ from it all.
Think of it as air, a space of light where there’s no density of any kind. It is see-through and intangible. Energy. With practice aligning with the energy of nothingness, so to speak, can produce a highly pleasable sensations to all forms within us – mental, emotional and physical. You might refer to those moments as blissful and heavenly.
As we work ‘backwards’ from emptying to learning to receive rather than react to everything and everyone, as we are used to doing, we create a completely different way of being.
If you are a feeling type, sensitive to all energies and also an intellectual/academic type this might work. Shutting down thoughts in a way of non-engagement, as thoughts create feelings and then behaviours, will create that sense of being light and empty. This is what I have engaged with naturally over the last few weeks post a very heavy period of overwhelm and thinking.
Another aspect I found useful that I think might help going forward, and a part of an ‘emptying’ process is focusing on one thing at a time and doing that for some time, for up to a year. Not engaging in more than one goal, one intention, one task. You need to stick with it too and see if it somewhat aligns things in a positive way long-term. Experiment and play with it. Playfulness and freedom are important factors in this way of engagement.
For example, you might decide to focus on just your family, or just one goal or ambition without letting anything else interfere. You might decide to do this for a week, a month or a year, like I am doing. Make your world small in other words. When in nature, for example, try focusing on the detail rather than on the overall surroundings/whole environment. It does something on the inside that feels cosy and grounding and, therefore, safe. We can all do with feeling more safe. Condense and consolidate in ways that will feel protective and self-contained rather than overwhelming.
Most things that do overwhelm us are actually out of our control and when we focus in that way and essentially disperse ourselves and lose all boundaries it creates a lack of meaning and a feeling of being lost as a result.
The Sun is a solar deity in nature-based spiritual practice. It is both of the Fire and Air/sky elements. Worshiping the Sun God or following its cycles, manifestations, presentations and cycles means it is looked upon as sacred energy of the earth, which plays an active role in the life of the natural world and our own.
On my walk in the rain this morning I got thinking about the Sun, as a god, and Yule celebrations that are coming up. How do we look upon the Sun when it is not shining and in darkness? How do we think of it, speak of it? Notice the language we use around darkness and no so bright weather. There are many parallels between the decline of the Sun, it being hidden, the darkness and human psyche. The main element is that we are in denial of it whether we are aware of it or not. Rejection of the darkness is an old thing, as old as humanity, but I always wonder if it has to continue quite the way it had done. The work of psychotherapy throws a lot of light on what human shadow really is, personally and collectively, and it is my strong belief that the work of integrating your darkness can be one most valuable, if not the most vital, part of the personal journey. Until one becomes of aware, first, then accepting of his/her own dark materials, not a lot will change and projections, judgements, victimhood, blaming, pretending will carry on impeding relationships, progression, understanding and acceptance of things as they are. This is where nature is the most wise, I have always believed. It is all light and all darkness naturally.
Why do we deny rain, sleet, strong winds, floods and fires? They represent emotions within ourselves, very strong ones, the ones we had always been told to fear, reject, suppress, etc. I believe this has been the biggest wounding on earth to humans via humans. Again nature is one such source that can reconnect you back to your humility and heart. It can help reawaken and let the lost emotional parts of yourself be accepted back into the whole. We are meant to be whole, both, logic and feeling, mind and heart with the body holding it all together.
The language we use around weather is a good example of yet another rejection seemingly external, but it is very much internal. Dreary, bleak, dark, miserable – are the words we hear every day whenever the sun is not shining outside. If it is not bright and warm it is not worth ‘worshiping’, yet even the Sun needs recharging, like a battery, like any of us, in order to shine bright again in a few months’ time. We continue to judge it for not shining, leaving us in darkness, nevertheless. This, I believe, is due to lack of understanding, valuing and accepting our own inner darkness.
This phenomenon, please notice, can also happen in reverse when the Sun is scolded for shining too much, instead of too little. It is the rejection of light instead of the darkness. Emotions of ecstasy, mania and depression come to mind and depending on what your experience is with mental health you will understand what I mean. We all heard of chronic clinical depression, but no one has of chronic clinical happiness. It is more complex than that, of course, but ‘happiness’ can be a warning sign, always wanting, moving, needing, asking for the light or pretending to be that way, can bring serious consequences to psyche when not in balance. Nature is the key to bringing things together, to demonstrate to us through weather, seasons, and elemental presentations how to be with it all without judgement.
In nature-based spirituality folk welcome both the Summer Solstice and the Winter Solstice. There is an understanding of the value of both points in nature and in life. We welcome equally the point when the Sun is at its peak and we also celebrate the Sun’s return and acknowledgement of where it has been during darkness.
I saw deer playing and chasing each other in the bush as I walked passed the hedgerows with trees up on a hill. I would not have been able to witness that was it not quiet, empty and winter time. That’s a blessing to me!
Going back to those ‘negative’ adjectives the opposite for me would be when I walk in all weather is raw, fresh, renewing and completely natural. There is no life without the rain and there is no light without the darkness. It really is simple. The rainy landscape offers refreshing perspectives, new insights. I get inspired by wintery silhouettes and transparency and vulnerability of the land. At this time of year everything is exposed and paths are clear to walk to ponder over the bare branches and bones of the natural world. The clarity of mind for me during this time is like at no other time of the year. I love vulnerability and openness in nature and internally during darker winter months.
The darkness is the conservation of energy so it can shine brighter in months to come. Yet we are in denial of any validity of the darkness externally and within while wishing for the light to shine brighter. Want it here, now, in this way and that without considering how things become one way or another or where they roots from. There’s a cycle, a very wise one, the wisest. Nature is not here to please or pacify. It does what it must and what it has always done regardless of collective preconceptions, personal projections and human storytelling.
Yule is such a time and opportunity to reflect of the meaning of light and warmth and the Sun as a God, a spiritual, astrological, seasonal phenomenon that has been here since the beginning of time and every year offers lessons for reflection and potential change of views and perspective.
In the last few weeks one of the things that’s gotten clear is the need to upgrade the old technology with the new. Our navigational system of feeling is our technology that is pure heart intelligence that is allowing us to not only see things what they are but to step into a new reality. If you can feel you can see I say and what I mean by seeing is knowing through your inner feeling field what is what. In this way there’s nothing right or wrong it is instead a multitude of truths that all have a place but most importantly we can choose or remain in observance.
Our technology maintenance, therefore, is done with the tools of the heart, intuition, feeling, sensations and a different way of looking and seeing.
I am being shown another way of naming things, for example. Just to describe a vibration to you; it is not forced or slammed in your face as the only new alternative and suggesting we throw everything away. History is history, we don’t need to berate it for ever existing. This call is neutral, if you like, take it or leave it, there’s no agenda only a suggestion of changing a frame around words, language, concepts. This is something I have thought for a while about I just couldn’t conceptualise it until now.
I use the work of the psyche or mental health as an example. Let’s take the word ‘mood’. Often it has a negative connotation attached to it in the context of mental health, for example. Moods are not welcomed especially when they change quickly and drastically. Moods are looked upon as something temperamental and unpredictable and we must stay in control at all times – that’s the goal. We either aim to control a mood, suppress it or cover it up, i.e. pretend we are not feeling what we are feeling. We have become very good at that as a human race. I have explored this moon manipulation and navigation with myself and discovered a lot of valuable material. If we deny a mood we automatically deny an experience and a quality within us or even a part of ourselves. Do you see? Instead of doing all that old mind-led technology stuff I choose to care take my moods. The reason is I need to be able to experience myself fully, just as I am and I call a mood a resonance, which changes according to our experiences in any given moment.
MOOD – VIBRATION
The same goes for a diagnosis. What is diagnosis if not a name for a person’s experience but is it? Is it not empty of that exact thing? It is a label, something to pin it down yet how can all the multitude of experiences of so many can be pinned down under one word? Diagnosis to me is a unique expression of an individual. Everyone expresses various symptoms differently, uniquely. What is it with generalising in this society? Seeps deep into collective of belonging to a race, an army of ‘robots’, an operation, a machine, which operates better when everyone is the same.
Imagine if we put ‘depression with a hint of genius expressed in music or anxiety that helps others predict the weather, etc.’ this is somewhat more specific and valuing of an experience of an individual.
DIAGNOSIS – UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL EXPRESSION
I am sure there will be many more phrases, words, energies that will naturally change towards some alternative that will offer a wider view on choices we can make.
What we are experiencing is a crisis on many levels and what’s at the centre of it is a breakdown of the ‘whole’, a psycho-spiritual crisis of individual and collective. We are facing a long and dark night of the soul. When things no longer make sense, our minds race uncontrollably and feelings overwhelm our every day, fear-based behaviours flare out of control and our safety is compromised. When personal and collective fall away what and how transpersonal can help us get back to ourselves, get back ‘home’.
What are we left with? What else is there?
Transpersonal approach to psycho-spiritual work deals with the idea of human innate potential and bears witness to personal transformations through engaging with or experiencing something beyond ‘self’ when in crisis. Hope reawakens, inner potential begins to shine through and strength previously seemingly inaccessible comes back. As a therapist I have been privileged to be a witness to profound shifts in individuals when working in a transpersonal way. Working with life transitions and crisis is one of my favourite areas due to an openness and beauty of experience that can be had once transformation occurs through awareness, reflection and application. The beauty and resilience of the human spirit is profound. Transpersonal way of working for me, first and foremost, is an interconnectedness and the quality of being with another that holds the key to an effective recovery of all that matters.
When we are faced with crisis we can look at losing something as a way of gaining something else; an opportunity, a ‘welcomed’ surrender without resistance. In breaking down we break through. The crisis becomes a golden opportunity to self-actualise, a path towards what one always wanted to be. Crisis becomes a road ‘home’ towards inner wholeness.
How can transpersonal view help in a time of crisis? Transpersonal psychology ideas were birthed out of humanistic movement of the 1960s and have been widely used in psycho-spiritual work and incorporated in a field of psychotherapy. The actual term ‘transpersonal’ was first used by C Jung in 1917. I see transpersonal approach to healing and life in general as an active, purposeful engagement with ideas such as, hope, meaningful life, human innate potential, divine nature within us all – all of which create a ‘whole’ of life experience. It includes interconnectedness between earthly and spiritual, cognitive and emotional, physical and sensory, person and interpersonal, inner and outer, individual and collective. We have an opportunity to start with ourselves and extend our essential life-force and divine energy outwards. We can do so through nourishing thoughts and meaningful actions, emotional intelligence and awareness, intentional creative life, honouring of the body, practicing enchantment of life and spiritual awareness in a way that makes the most sense to us.
When all structures around us collapse, pillars that held our earthly lives in place, where do we turn for help and containment? What happens to our identity and personal concerns? Through history we have seen individuals, as well as, nations collectively ‘rising from the ashes’ when a surge in consciousness comes forth and personal diminishes. We access our strength, hope and potential in a place beyond personal. We can call it faith, spiritual awareness, experience that has no words, yet its power cannot be denied and transformations are inevitable.
Better knowing your nature one can be more effective in the world and seeing that we are not just one or the other, thoughts or feelings we are the whole experience of life in all its spectrums. In dropping into the dark we discover the light and with light taken away darkness serves as a lesson towards change.
As a result of a crisis what we ultimately look for is:
A path to consciousness through harnessing the unconscious
Inner and outer transformation (individual and collective)
Coming to awareness of the interconnected reality
Joining back in with the individual and collective ‘whole’
Spiritual connection to the divine
What we can do:
Turn within with love, compassion and trust
Have faith in knowing that our potential is limitless. Potential within us all is a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. When all the external noise, defences, unconscious actions no longer dominate we can clearly see what really is available to us from within.
Become conscious of your unconscious through paying attention to your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Focus on your personal (with yourself), interpersonal (with others) and extra-personal (transpersonal, spiritual, divine) relationships.
Self-reflect with every step paying attention to words you speak
Be present through the body either through grounded visualizations or other activities that connects you to the physical. I find digging the earth, planting, gardening, walking or running very revelatory, cantering, meditative and often spiritual experiences.
Care-take your insights and implement into life as a way of practicing change, growth and transformation
Know what brings you joy and pleasure; what makes your passion burn; what actions make your life fulfilling and meaningful
“Everything living thrives for wholeness” (C. Jung) and it is wholeness we need to reclaim and rebuild following multiple fractures, isolation, disconnection and loss on a huge scale. Use the crisis to begin the work of rebuilding earthly and spiritual reality based on what matters to you. Spiritual to you might be finding meaning in life or creating a practice that allows you a space where you are most productive, loving, and compassionate. Through individual healing and awareness of the transpersonal, whichever way you choose to access it, use it as a helping hand, a reminder of ‘something more, something better’, we can weave threads of consciousness, however, small at first, as long as there is intention and inner belief in what we can truly do when we commit to healing and recovery.
When all falls apart what’s left is the extraordinary spirit that shines within us all, the innate natural capacities to do things unimaginable that often come force when we are faced with crisis. Through the light of consciousness step-by-step, piece-by-piece we pave the road ‘home’, back to ourselves, a road back to wholeness.
What is the thing that you would say out loud if you were 100% authentic even if just for a moment.
This is the most authentic I have ever been probably and I am saying it out loud and it feels incredibly liberating.
When I was small I was known for saying ‘I don’t want to’ a lot. I resisted, fought, defended whatever my heart held precious and I stubbornly stamped my feet in not wanting either doing or feeling. It applied to many things and now as an adult I understand that state of authenticity and I admire it in my inner little girl even though she lost that fight pretty early on, around five years old. The ‘I don’t want to’ got silenced for life I’d say, but the inner grumble never went away although compliance took over on a scale unimaginable to her but necessary for mere survival.
I never believed or ever will for as long as I live in suppression of emotions of any kind and going against your soul I consider a crime. I have always known that. Life had different ideas, hence a coat of sadness cling to me all my life as a knowing of what’s underneath. Physical beauty only intensified the pain within and the split between inner and outer always felt unbearable. This world always felt too difficult to be in, to handle, to operate and survive. I did. We all did in one way or another. It’s not all bad, of course it’s not, as moments of sheer ecstasy and happiness did come and I can count them on one hand and remember each and every one of them like it was yesterday and always will.
So, last night I wrote this, which brought back the ‘I don’t want to’ back and this time it is near to stay, to speak out loud without shame, worry, care or fear of any kind.
What would you say ‘I don’t want to’ today to help bring yourself back home, to a state where you know yourself as best you can and there are no more cover ups or excuses, only truth, your truth!
Freedom or connection?
Extinction or restoration?
Been in conflict with this since last year and extinction is so wanted. Tired, don’t want to do it, want to be free, not in connection with anyone, don’t want to help or rescue anyone, too hard.
Freedom/death/no more/no faith in humanity/not up to me/don’t want the responsibility
But I am called to do this because apparently someone thinks that I can. Restoration needed
You have got to heal how to be a mother – wow, not that again, don’t want to
I need to be in the right place to activate this, to heal this. No, I don’t. I don’t want to
Ultimately I don’t want to even engage with it let alone dive into it aiming to heal. I feel like I am done and whatever is left will always be and I am ok. Freedom and peace is what I want. I am tired of this world and just want to enjoy whats left for me and my family.
Burn out that’s reached its ultimate peak. All the things that defined me in a forceful way but were never me and what I wanted are now surrendering and giving up. Enough they say, we are not doing it, we are not moving. Stubborn energy and some might relate to it as selfish but to me it is like a defence in the name of my authenticity. It is not avoidance or resistance it is a very firm NO. I really really really don’t want to be there for others when I don’t want or need to be. I want to do nothing. My wants are minimal, very simple and singular. I want to sit in a chair for hours and just look at the trees outside. I want to walk from
Room to room with no particular purpose, I want to write some words and fall into the flow and don’t come out of it till I want to come out of it not when I am expected to break it or interrupted to break it. With a sigh and an inner grumble I do but I don’t want to. I don’t need or want a purpose to define my being here on earth at this time. I don’t need to be somewhere with someone doing something I no longer need to fulfil needs and wants of someone else or an idea that I should. It’s stupid to me and when I have to do it I don’t feel great even though I have to. It doesn’t give me pleasure or joy or anything I’d call fulfilment really because I want none of that and never wanted it really. It all just happened, I fell into many traps and often consciously because that’s what everyone does and blah blah blah. It is boring to me, pointless, flat and dull.
I am also quite tired of discussing it, debating it, going over it like a wound that will never heal and I know it won’t until I stop picking at it and just Forget it is there. It wants to be forgotten too I think. It doesn’t want to be a reminder either. We all want peace and that’s as simple as that. I am not driven to save the world, I am not in a chase after recognition or validation or approval. It gives no value to my life at all. I want don’t need any of that. What I want is just be, observe, be present with my surroundings and write my reflections on what I see, feel and think. I don’t want to make an impact or earn a lot of money or worry about things like school and politics and society in general. Island is my favourite type of land for dwelling where I literally feel cut off and unreachable by anyone or anything. I want to be felt like I am far away or not even existing. I want to be in that sort of hiding and not be interrupted by life as others know it or think it should be. I want little, hardly anything.
Frustration grows in me with this life. I am pushed and pulled and demanded upon and I do love my boys and I am lucky as they understand my need for being, just being with not needing to attach to anything. I do like looking after them but often I don’t want to and that’s ok. We all get it and I am grateful for that.
Raw Nature Spirit 
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