Post-Samhain

The energy of stillness and quiet is present today post-Samhain and it is so soothing to the mind, body and spirit after the turbulence of the last couple of months raw with angry and sorrowful depression, days filled with anxious hours and feeling completely bereft of love. There were many points during the ‘die off’ period when I thought there would be no relief from twisting, reforming and restructuring of all that I call life. It truly feels like a process of rebirth this year.

There is no coincidence that it is my birthday in a few days and so I have a ‘real’ chance to be born again. My birthday this year also feels very significant, which is not something that comes up every year. It is truly a moment of transition for me. It carries a sense of some profound change, not simply a way of letting go off the old, but really stepping into a state of being new. The transformation this year is manifesting through the element of Water (the birth element of November) where healing plays a huge part. It is not the usual Fire regeneration and rebirth. What is occurring ‘post-death’ is a state of cleansed and new straight out of the Earth womb. I am also being connected to the Moon in a very strong way and it is going to be a Full Moon on my birthday this year and I intend to engage with it, which, again, is new for me. I have some magical workings planned and one of the callings with this rebirth is to step into my power, really feel it as I am being born into the new, and embrace exactly what I can do. It fills me with energy, which I can only describe as excited knowing and quiet wisdom.

Today, on the 1^st November I am also clearing out my altar to simplify the space to allow for that new and shiny energy to come in and settle. I crave everything simple, bare, white, pure and light. It is a new beginning for me and I will be writing a dedication, devotional offering to the Goddess of wisdom and all life, Ceilleach, to ask her to take me into her cave of rebirth and guide me on the journey of connection to my new self and generating relationships going forward based on love, kindness, dignity and compassion.

Wishing you blessed future and Happy Celtic New Year!

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Full Moon January 2017

  
The full moon had me frozen, silent and encapsulated in my own feelings. I experienced inner peace and war all at the same time.It felt like I was encircled by a silver ring with a raging fire inside of it. Grounded yet very aware of the burning within. 

The moon has a capacity to illuminate I feel. Awareness sharpens and all senses become alive and it is often hard to control it hence one can swing from feeling peaceful to rageful, from laughter to tears, hot to cold. It doesn’t feel safe and I have to hold my awareness in harness not to break that silver ring that surrounds all my emotional waters within. 
The sleep was deep and reflective and on waking I was back to balance, myself and feeling self-assured in what I needed to do. 

New Moon revisited

I just read an old post of mine about upgrades I received a while back about love during Dark Moon period. POST HERE 

During that time the information I received was to cultivate the love within, make it grow regardless on whether I am in a relationship or not. My awareness of inner power and the vibration of unconditional love within became strong and clear. What I also felt, however, and yes, this is the tinge of darker shade I imagine needed to be added, was my lack of need for a partner. I feel that was thrown in there to see if I get confused, by-pass a few things and really get the message. Reading it back my perception of what the message really was changed. It was wonderful to have received the insight and a real felt sense of the love within me. I connected to myself on a different level during that time and it has stayed with me, but what was the other side of it? Did I really need to abandon all my relationships purely because I felt I didn’t need that for as long as I love myself? Do you see a slight distortion in the message that I perceived to be that way. It is a bit of riddle, which in this post I attempt to unravel.

With some time passed and a few view on that particular time and insight I can see the mixture of vibrations woven into what I was experiencing. It was yet another test, firstly, on whether I would be able to really connect to myself and sustain that vibration of self-love on a continuous basis. The second part was to challenge me to stop and think deeper into what was actually best for me and how that newly found inner love could serve me AND the other rather than ‘I don’t need the other, I am complete as I am’. Over some time what occurred in my life with regards to my life partner has actually been a deepening of our connection and love rather than abolition of all connection. What I feel now is not only love within, but deep wisdom of the Earthly love and what that means to be a partner, a wife, a life companion. It feels deeply grounded, safe and soul soothing. One might say my initial insight had taken me on a journey towards further discovering of how my inner love manifested out there in my relationships and through deepening connecting rather than letting go off it, my inner love grew and my wisdom became a guiding voice here on Earth. One might say the Spirit vibration got manifested in real terms in this dimension, which is the ultimate goal of spirituality and a struggle for so many.

The lesson of this is not to see things as they appear on the surface, but allow for it to develop, look deeper, give it time to really make sense in your body and in your current reality. There is often more to a message than meets the eye and we are often to quick to make a judgement and a decision, which sometimes is nothing more than an unconscious attempt to run away from something, a resistance to something.

Happy New Moon and cultivating new seeds of love and wisdom!

 

Releasing at waning moon

  When we talk of releasing, letting go, cleansing out and ending something it is assumed we want rid of something, but that sounds one dimensional in a way. Releasing something doesn’t necessarily mean we want to get rid of something unwanted, bad or negative. The meaning of true release and letting go lies deeper.
What we do want to engage along with a desire to free ourselves from something is a gratitude to that something we seek to let go off. We say ‘release all that no longer serves us’, which always implies that at one point or another, perhaps, for a long time, perhaps, all our lives, that something/someone served us well. It might have helped us to servive, to cope. Perhaps, it needed to be there to facilitate our learning, our exploration of the world and ourselves ultimately. We needed that something to be with us. When we release at waning moon we don’t seek to throw away and banish, but we clear a space for something new to come in and we say deep thanks to that, which did serve us well at one point but no longer does. At that point it becomes clear that it limits and locks our further development and for that reason it is time we released it, let it go.

Releasing, waning moon spells are simple yet very powerful if in context of what it is that you are doing. Every ritual/spell casting time is sacred and intention is clear. 

The Fire element is often associated with releasing/letting go spells, as Fire energy is pure transformational form when when you throw something into flames something else comes out of it. In this case a new you, a new space is created when something dies and something is born at the same time within you. 

Other simple releasing elements are Earth, Air and Water and you can use whatever calls to you at a given moment. You might choose to release a feather into the wind or water or bury some ash in the ground. Listen hard to what your intuition directs you to regarding your releasing work. Follow with courage and reassurance that it is the right thing for you.

Magic is a tool, which allows us to use natural forces to create desires effect and if performed with senserity and integrity in the heart, it is powerful work to which there is always a powerful response is produced. 

Remember be grateful for whatever had served us and release it with love and understanding, appreciation and gratitude for the growth it did facilitate in you or for the shelter it did provide for your wounded soul at one time or another. Teachers come in different forms and often something/someone  we are not keen on prove to be the most valuable participants in our journey to spirit.

Blessings! 

  

The New Moon – diving into darkness

The last couple of months have been chaotic and traumatising. belief and faith smashing and soul shaking. I have been re-living pain and suffering, loss and betrayal and feeling that deep disappointment. The New Moon this month is not that ‘light’ way of connecting with the new, not that exciting feeling of anticipation of things to come, not propelling into action and begin creating type of vibe. It is dark, it is painful, it is stagnant, unclear and confusing. I am experiencing it as truly ‘Dark’ this month. It is called both Dark and New for a reason, as one of my strongest beliefs is that new, exciting and light comes from deep shit and darkness. When one is in a state of obliteration and deletion of all beliefs and supports previously thought good and helpful, one is in true darkness. It is lonely, it is painful and it is by far the most confusing and chaotic state one can be in. But only when you end up in a place where there is no light and everything crashed around you, only when everything disappears from your view and there is no direction you realise something needs to be born. It is a true call to action, to healing, to transformation. It is from that place of having nothing else to lose and having nothing you can rely upon, you begin to build bridges within your consciousness towards a way out, a way forward.

Ways of clearing the road, so to speak, and finding a direction again, a signpost, which leads you out of that dark and into a new place is to sit in that dark place for as long as needed first and foremost. Cry, scream, roll around in pain and witness your own being experiencing whatever painful emotions are living within you in that moment. It is a place where an escape is pointless, you don’t need an escape what you need is a clear opening, which does appear sooner or later. It is like a hand of spirit (whatever form you experience that) reaching out to you asking you to join into the light, it is like that. Things to do when in dark phase of your being and it happens to be during the New/Dark Moon for me this month are:

• Decorate your sacred space with objects, scents representative of how you feel and also include things that symbolize how you wish to feel, e.g. your favourite flowers or crystals
• Ask the God and Goddess to be your witnesses in this episode of your ‘crying out from within’
• Just sit with it, cry as much as you want and wait
• Listen, be still in awareness of your own body, the state of your mind and your emotional body
• Be raw with it, be whatever you need to be

This New Moon in a way of a ritual, I am already re-creating a space within my altar, which is a conscious ‘build’ of what is going on, so I can witness it and have it mirrored to me. I also connect with that most vulnerable, but also THE most beautiful part of myself where there is so much love and so much pain at the same time that when I invoke that being I tremble and cry uncontrollably. I need to be with ‘her’, I need to witness that wholeness that this being is in all its glory and in all its ugliness all at the same time. So tonight I will go to that place in my bedroom called a sacred space and I intend to just be with what is and listen out for any guidance that comes my way, but more than anything I need to witness myself in this new state of rebirthing and have it witnessed by deities that will be joining me. Whatever that is, it doesn’t matter. The right thing always comes at the time when one is open whether in joy or pain, it comes and you bow to that and you say, thank you for being with me. I am being with me, I am being with the whole me and I am doing this to grow, to learn, to progress and light up once again.

Image source: https://www.tumblr.com/search/screamo-bands