Heaven on earth search. Some ideas

The key to that heaven is within us all. It is up to us to unlock our own unique way of relating to life in what would feel blissful to us. It will be different for everyone depending on how one relates to all, processes information and what senses and functions dominate in one on an intellectual, emotional, psychical and metaphysical levels. It will also depend where you are at currently in life. Self-reflecting, e.g., as one of the most popular tools in recent psychological history, can actually create hooks, triggers and mental pitfalls that will drag us down further into a place where we eventually would become it. What if we tried to drop reflections, at least for a while. This is a new way of doing things that hopefully can create a strong enough anomaly that would allow you evolve in a new way. 

What if we emptied instead of consolidate; cleared ourselves ready not to receive but to learn to just be before we do decide to let things in again. This will apply to all aspects of the emotional spectrum, negative and positive, but before we learn how we discern individually, as it will be different, we need to learn to empty or in other words ‘detach’ from it all. 

Think of it as air, a space of light where there’s no density of any kind. It is see-through and intangible. Energy. With practice aligning with the energy of nothingness, so to speak, can produce a highly pleasable sensations to all forms within us – mental, emotional and physical. You might refer to those moments as blissful and heavenly. 

As we work ‘backwards’ from emptying to learning to receive rather than react to everything and everyone, as we are used to doing, we create a completely different way of being. 

If you are a feeling type, sensitive to all energies and also an intellectual/academic type this might work. Shutting down thoughts in a way of non-engagement, as thoughts create feelings and then behaviours, will create that sense of being light and empty. This is what I have engaged with naturally over the last few weeks post a very heavy period of overwhelm and thinking. 

Another aspect I found useful that I think might help going forward, and a part of an ‘emptying’ process is focusing on one thing at a time and doing that for some time, for up to a year. Not engaging in more than one goal, one intention, one task. You need to stick with it too and see if it somewhat aligns things in a positive way long-term. Experiment and play with it. Playfulness and freedom are important factors in this way of engagement.

For example, you might decide to focus on just your family, or just one goal or ambition without letting anything else interfere. You might decide to do this for a week, a month or a year, like I am doing. Make your world small in other words. When in nature, for example, try focusing on the detail rather than on the overall surroundings/whole environment. It does something on the inside that feels cosy and grounding and, therefore, safe. We can all do with feeling more safe. Condense and consolidate in ways that will feel protective and self-contained rather than overwhelming.

Most things that do overwhelm us are actually out of our control and when we focus in that way and essentially disperse ourselves and lose all boundaries it creates a lack of meaning and a feeling of being lost as a result.

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Winter’s breath

Intense craving for quietude and emptiness is present within me in winter. My body exhales with delight releasing all the debris that is heavy, stuck and rubbing on the edges of my experience. I read somewhere yesterday the words, which rang true that described new year resolutions as major triggers and unnecessary demands on our minds, bodies and hearts even. I agree. It is not the time to add more in, but rather continue simplifying, becoming quieter and more inwards until at least the first signs of spring. We are in mid-winter still and winter is here for a quiet inactivity, or at least not too much of it. Hibernation is the way, as for all the creatures and nature at large. We are no different and oh, it can benefit us greatly to sit quietly with life experience, insights and weaving days in slow motions with the intention of resting fully preparing for a time when we are ready to emerge.

Winter is like the element of Air to me, although generally active and busy networking, in winter it is of misty clouds and foggy coverings on the earth. It is there, but not seen fully, sleepy and slow in its reveal, if at all. When snow comes and dresses nature is a white canvas it is virginal, new, clear, and not to be disturbed till it is ready to melt into streams and soil. The reason it all feels covered is because it is meant to be only visible on the inside where we brew the new dishes of insight and weave new ideas of intention, which when the time is right will be manifested. But not yet, not now, not in January or even February.

Although with Imbolc, the 2^nd February celebration of Candle Mass, the earth begins to stir, it is mostly within the realm of the very edges of our awareness and with a slight touch of spring-like approaching. We might begin to see some life peeping through the earth, but barely there. To me, the time between Imbolc and Spring Equinox is the time to start awakening to what one wants to bring into being for the coming year, not before, not yet… Leave resolutions, intentions, goals and all such things till then and enjoy the space and environment winter offers so eagerly to us with every passing year. In its silence things promise to be born that, if looked after, will bring much fruition and bounty in the months to come.

Here is wishing all folk a restful winter flow in its slow and quiet ways that once embraced feels so very comfortable, cosy and nourishing!

Happy New calendar year of 2021

The beauty of saying nothing

Too often we engage in exchanges with someone being completely unaware how what is running through our heads is a response to what the other person is sharing. We are focused on our own response ready and waiting and not listening to the other. What about if we stopped and just listened and not only that… With awareness of our inner commentary in that moment not only we decide not to pay attention to that ‘noise’ but also make a decision to say nothing when the other person is finished. This is particularly useful in emotionally charged situations. Instead of jumping in with what’s in our heads we decide to pause and hold that space in silence, allowing the other person to breathe into what they just expressed and shared. I heard some calling this a practice of ‘sacred pause’. It is a truly transformative experience and such a learning in awareness not just of what we do unconsciously on a regular bases, but what effect it might have on our conversations and relationships in a wider context. This can be changed in a way that is beneficial to all and, yes, it requires practice like anything else that is worth doing. However, you never know, you might just like it, just like I find myself liking it more and more.

When we empty our mind of all the clutter in any given moment and allow ourselves not to speak, not to respond and just hold that space, it feels expansive. I find myself I am able to breathe evenly and deeper when I am aware I am in my ‘say nothing’ space. It also feels wonderfully liberating and peaceful. In terms of conversations that allowing of space in return becomes an even flow of exchange, the other person relaxes just as much as you do and there is an understanding that you are truly listening and there with them, which allows them to share more honestly and more openly rather than rushing through sentences trying to cramp as many words as possible into a conversation, because unconsciously we all feel it when the person opposite is about to jump in with a response. When that energy is diminished or switched off to a different vibration all together, it is felt by the other in return.

In relationships it creates trust, it makes us feel held, felt, seen and understood and isn’t it what we all want deep down? We are often caught into projecting on to one another and it creates misunderstandings, which then builds into conflicts and all sorts of distorted defensive positions where nothing gets resolved yet a lot of energy is spent on it. When we tell ourselves to ‘shut up’ no matter what comes our way, it is not that we invite it all in, no, we simply hold it in-between the two. In that in-between pause it becomes a choice of whether to take that projection in, react, throw it back or allow for time to pass in ‘silence’ for the other and yourself to process what had happened and wait for a natural resolution whether it is deciding to turn around and walk away or embrace one another.

I give you an example. My husband came home the other night in a bad mood and began making comments and moaning, i.e. projecting his frustration on to me. I felt myself preparing for a battle in my head, ready to throw some stuff right back at him. Taking projections is very hard, by the way, and requires practice and most of all self-awareness. Because I was aware of what was happening within him and within myself I was able to ‘pause’ and make that wonderful decision to be silent and say nothing. Once I took that stance I felt my chest filling up with space, I felt more relaxed and allowing for whatever my husband needed to let go off come out. It is important not to take it personally, as if you do, you have taken on their projection and would inevitably be triggered into your own inner drama, which would then produce proejctions back. I embraced his rigid body and with my holding him in my arms I allowed that space and he continued to let things out with no judgement on my part. When he was done he felt better and appreciated that space to be with what he needed to be with. It avoided a potential argument and we both benefitted from that experience. We were able to get on with our night in peace and harmony.

Silence is very soothing. It has that vibration of allowing spaciousness. Often it is better to say nothing than say something inauthentic, not nice or simply unnecessary. There is so much unneccesary noise that goes on around us and within us. Silence speaks in its own way and we don’t practice that enough. It takes away from real listening to one another, from being intimate with one another, feeling, seeing and understanding one another. Next time something similar comes up, try ‘saying nothing’ and just being in the space. It might just turn out to be a game-changer.