Before she was…


The draw to the hut was strong. My body ached with the need and desire to go there. 

‘I will come and stay for a month,’ I turned to him and said running my hand across a wooden log, the cabin was made from. I was there, but I was not, not fully, not like I needed or wanted to. 

‘I will stay with you. We can go fishing and berry picking.’ He wiped mosquito off his cheek. The stickiness of the summer evening on my skin felt strange and it smelt strongly of jasmine. That place was ripe with everything nature, just like in my childhood. I wanted to drink it in. 

In the cabin there were people. They looked happy going about their business. I remember being overcome by jealousy for their fortune of being able to stay there. It was like I was there, but I was not. From my dream I observed it all. I was just a visitor in that place, but in my blood, I knew it as my home from long ago. The ache of wanting to live there rose again. 

There were several rooms: a hall, a big lounge, and an attic. Each room had its purpose. A child joined me and began following me everywhere. It was a small boy but had a girl’s name and looks very pretty. I sat on a sofa and a young woman came and covered me with a blanket. A young man, who showed me around appeared to be in charge. The place felt pure, kind, yet it held secrets, codes, treasures to be discovered. I became very curious. 

‘Where can I find her,’ I asked him. 

He turned away fiddling with a piece of wood in his hand. 

‘I should not really tell you. May be just leave it. It has been a long time and you do not know what it will lead to.’ He looked at me with understanding and warmth. 

‘I do know what you are saying. I do. I just wondered if she was around.’

And then he said, ‘She is around, all around. She is right next door.’

‘Left, or right?’ I asked. 

He looked right but meant left. Somehow, I understood that. 

Once outside everything was lush green with rowans lining up the road on both sides. Late summer. Berries were beginning to redden. I took it all in. It smelt like rich soil and home. I was home. And then darkness. I plunged into it suddenly and it felt comforting. The thing about darkness, you might not be able to see anyone, but no one can see you either. I always found that comforting to know. I took my shoes off and walked out of the gate and looked where her house was. It was large and beautiful. Luxurious with big windows. I felt scared. Night summer air intoxicatingly alluring. I took another deep breath. 

‘I could not possible go in that house,’ I thought. So imposing and grand, not what I expected, and it was right there, next to the house I stayed in. 

Next, I walked back through the gate and stood on a bench lined up against the gate to peek into the windows next door. I knew I should not be doing it but could not help it. Curiosity took over. And then I saw cats, lots of back cats. They were the size of dogs. They roamed the boarder scowling. They began moving towards me as soon as they spotted me. I froze in terror. They snarled at me, and one sank her teeth into my leg. I felt sharp pain. They withdrew.

I ran into the house, but someone followed me in. I turned around and there she was. Young and beautiful, simply dressed. Her hair colour I recognised, as my own, when I was a child. Decorative small earrings, nothing out of the ordinary apart from her face. Intensely kind, shining from within she was. I felt her goodness, but also darkness all at the same time. She was both life and death. She took my hand in hers, which felt clammy and cool, but not unpleasant. I froze, fascinated, honoured, and humbled all at the same time. Then she told me her name… It was her, before she was her.

It was one of those significant dreams, which I have not had for some time. I am grateful to receive one last night. Dreams are products of our psyche. They are from us, about us and for us. Over my lifetime I learnt to recognise various categories of dreams. This one belongs to a ‘telling’ dream that contained several messages for me and reflected aspects of my own consciousness that should help me moving forward. It was fairy tale like with vivid landscapes, vibrant colours, and strong smells. I touched objects and people with intent and purpose that remains with me now on waking. I love sensory dreams like this one and it just had to be recorded. She was there, the young version of her, before she became her… 

Happy Yule, everyone!

Advertisement

Another review of my book



Baba Yaga – Slavic Earth Goddess
By: Natalia Clarke – Moon Books, $10.95
Description: Slavic Earth Goddess is a unique perspective on working with Baba Yaga, Slavic Earth Goddess of mystery, intrigue and ambiguity, through apprenticing into her magic.
Verdict: In this introductory work Baba Yaga is re-defined outside of the dogmatic portrayals and becomes one of the most powerful and influential figures in an individual spiritual practice. An accessible guide to building a devotional practice, Pagan Portals – Baba Yaga is a journey of discovery and collaboration with deity, written to aid your own psycho-spiritual progression and offer a unique presentation of how we might work with the Goddess, psychologically and spiritually. In what is a most personal, beautifully written and highly informative new book from Natalia, the author brings forth lots of teaching and insight, all culled from decades of experience within the genre and of the writing style itself. For those unknowing, Baba Yaga is, in Slavic folklore, the wild old woman; the witch; mistress of magic; a mythical creature. She is also seen as a forest spirit, leading hosts of spirits. Stories about Baba Yaga have been used in teaching children the importance of reverence for the delicacy of nature and the spirit world. They were also used by worried parents in an attempt to frighten children from wandering far from home. Furthermore, Baba Yaga’s legacy is derived from several Eastern European cultural groups and her character differs depending on who tells it. The outcome of the story, however, usually emphasizes a purity of spirit and polite manners. Baba Yaga can also be a source of guidance when approached correctly. When Baba Yaga is approached without good preparation, sincerity, and due respect, she is dangerous. When too many questions (or the wrong questions) are asked, she is also dangerous. Only by maintaining pure heart and faith, proper respect for her as one’s elder, and loving care of her creatures can the encounter be successful. Here within Baba Yaga – Slavic Earth Goddess, Natalia shines her educational light and turns her personal beliefs on, what she believes to be, a serious lack of materials/teachings for those working with Baba Yaga; which makes this offering a real treat for those wanting to delve deeper into the myth (?) known as Baba Yaga. Thus whilst herself informing us of Baba Yaga in her own words, through her own experiences and beliefs, she also explores stories, tales told down the decades, exploring and even examining them as though she was a surgeon dissecting the good from the bad, so to speak. Merging together her very own Slavic origins, her extensive training in deep psychology, and natural spiritual practices, Natalia is our guide, our companion as we deep dive into the mysteries surrounding this most mysterious, and yet widely feared effigy known as Baba Yaga.

About the Author – Natalia Clarke is a transpersonal psychotherapist, writer, nature lover and an intuitive practitioner. A fiction, non-fiction and poetry writer with a passion for nature, emotions and magic, Natalia writes about intuitive living, magical practice, nature spirituality and soul relationship with the land. She lives on the outskirts of London, UK. Official Book Purchase Linkwww.JohnHuntPublishing.com

Exclusive magazine – https://annecarlini.com/ex_books.php

Pagan Portals Intuitive Magic Practice review

Intuitive Magic Practice, part of the Pagan Portals series, by Natalia Clarke makes me want to breathe a long, deep sigh of relief. Things have been a bit hectic in my world recently, and I’ve felt the disconnection that stems from being out of touch with my inner voice. Reading this book has shifted me back into my more natural, receptive state of being in the most delightful way.

Clarke has combined her experience as a transpersonal psychotherapist with wisdom as a spiritual guide to offer readers insight on how to create an intuitive magic practice. Throughout the book, her gentle, calming tone invites a sense of fluidity, harmony, and personal energetic resonance to emerge.

In no way is this book one in which the author holds the knowledge, prompting a hierarchy between author and reader. Rather, Clarke develops a relationship with the reader that’s guided by feelings of goodwill and trust. Much of the imparted content to the reader stems from her own personal experience, and she writes this book as though she might be telling a friend about her experiences with magic and developing intuition in her own life. I enjoyed her anecdotes and the lens it provided me into seeing how she developed her own spiritual perspective.

I really liked reading about the importance of nature in Clarke’s spirituality and connection to her intuition. There is so much beauty in the natural world, along with lessons of tending, growing, and slowing down to enjoy the moment. Since her writing does not stem from any one belief system or practice, I noticed how nature seemed to be the greatest influence that gave shape to Clarke’s experiences.

However, there’s so much that Intuitive Magic Practice covers. Each chapter highlights a method of connecting to one’s intuition and offers ways to become receptive to the guidance of one’s inner knowing. Receptivity is key here, as Clarke’s writing calls the reader to settle in, move at their own pace, and gently open to the promptings that want to be acknowledged.

Some topics covered in the book are dreamworkjournaling, breathing exercises, creating sacred space, creative imagination, moon cycles, and more. Clarke also shares spells, information on candle magic, and guidance on how to select ritual tools. Through it all, she emphasizes that there is no one size fits all model for one’s magical practice; there is also no need to force something when the energy is not there.

“This way there is a natural flow, no force, no attachment to an outcome, no artificial influences of any kind and it always works. One might say I flow with intuitive energy if and when it comes in. If I am not called or specific energies are not present, I do not do anything.”1

Clarke also includes information on the Triple Goddess aspects, working with the elements, and tips for intuitively crafting one’s own magical practice such as writing spells, casting a circle, and creating rituals. Again though, this all arises from a place of moving with the flow, rather than planning, specifying, and dictating how the process should look. She even contrasts intuitive magic to ritual magic to help readers get a better sense of this method in relation to others.

My favourite chapter of Intuitive Magical Practice was “Intuition, Divine Feminine and Sacred Self-care.” While this book has valuable information for all readers, Clarke does note in the introduction it is more geared towards a female audience. All I can say is this chapter was all I needed to be reminded of and more right now.

As I move through a phase of transition, stemming from immense burn-out in my last job that lead me to severely disconnect from my own internal guidance, I desperately needed the reminder that listening to my intuition, caring for my body, and moving in alignment with the energy is a practice of sacred self-care.

“What do I mean by sacred self care? This links in with self-awareness, which can grow through listening to yourself with complete trust and seeing powerful results in your way of being with yourself and the world. It means giving yourself what your inner voice asks of you or points you towards; giving yourself what you need in the moment by listening to your intuition; treating yourself with compassion, love and respect, as you would any divine energy.”2

It’s interesting too how Clarke reminded me of the importance of moving according to where the energy is and how things are flowing. To be honest, this book has been sitting on my shelf for about two weeks now, and I had procrastinated delving into my new book. I tried to read it a week ago, but after a few pages it was sidetracked. Then, suddenly, this morning, all my energy was focused on reading this book and sinking in to receive it’s message. I am so glad that I trusted the timing of my feelings and didn’t read it in a mindset that wasn’t ready to embrace all the wisdom in this book.

For the past few months, I’ve forgotten that it’s okay to live according to your intuition and trust the timing of when things unfold, but reading Clarke’s words reassured me that it’s okay to move in rhythm that feels right for you. It was particularly inspiring to read how she doesn’t do spell-work unless she feels called. Living a magical lifestyle doesn’t have to be doing spells with each moon cycle, or constantly keeping up with a specific practice “just because you’re supposed to.” It can be just as powerful when your practice is fluid and guided by intuition. This is such a deeply refreshing approach to magic.

I’ll admit I moved quite quickly through the book, soaking it all in as I sat outside in the sunshine, feeling the fresh air gently flow around me. However, this is also a book that can be savoured and referred back to over time. While I did finish it quickly, I now am ready to go back through it and practice some of the exercises, which Clarke offers plenty of through the book.

There is one method of connecting to intuition Clarke writes about that I had never heard of before, which I am particularly excited to try out: intuitive drawing. This approach can help to facilitate a dialogue with the subconscious and allow feelings, sensations, and thoughts to arise from deep within. Sometimes I feel like I get trapped in my words, and I am eager to see what comes out when I choose drawing as a form of communication with my inner guidance.

All in all, Clarke’s gentle and uplifting approach to an intuitive magic practice is something of great value to those who are seeking a more natural approach to working with energy. I highly recommend Intuitive Magic Practice to those who are seeking to tune back into their inner voice in a way that feels authentic and true to who they are. This book is a wonderful reminder that there is no right or wrong way, and that healing comes from remembering the sacred connection to our inner guidance. As you read Clarke’s wisdom, I’m sure you’ll feel right at home within yourself, comforted by the words that it’s okay to embrace your intuition and let your energy flow in a way that feels harmonious.

Alanna at https://musingmystical.com/intuitive-magic-practice-by-natalia-clarke/

Nature is all there is…

Nature is the original intelligence, life-force, evolution and transformative realm that just is. I like working with nature as the most primary source of all intelligence grounded in the body, clarity of thinking and depth of feeling. Most of all it doesn’t seek to enslave, manipulate or control. It is of free will and choice and in not wanting anything from you essentially encourages sovereignty and that is priceless. It demonstrates and shows how things can unfold naturally when one is allowed to be and grow in a way one chooses. I admire all things nature for that.

Another aspect is simplicity and inclusive sense of all belonging together and working together. It doesn’t try to be something it is not and has no concern for whether you are for it or against. To me it is the most perfect example of how to live. It is all consciousness and it doesn’t have labels. It has clear, purposeful, intentional cycles of life and death. In its inclusiveness it is perfection.


As an elemental and intuitive witch and all around nature-based spiritual practitioner, I have learnt from nature starting from the ground up with studying the nature elements and the qualities of each, which like a mirror reflected back to me what my qualities are; those that are weaker and those that are distorted and where I am most balanced. It taught me that listening to your own elemental self will never lead us astray. It just wouldn’t make sense for that not to be true.

Another thing that I can’t live without and is like breathing to me is beauty and where else one can experience things more beautiful than in nature. My belief has been for a long time that beauty will save the world. In nature it is not all butterflies and flowers, however, it is about survival and predation, violence and death yet even in those manifestations there’s immense beauty. One only has to experience a storm and the devastation it can cause or get in contact with the poisonous and dangerous species yet so stunning. I don’t believe it is always a disguise I believe it is meant to be beautiful in all forms. We only have to see it for what it is and not for what it is not depending on what our mind would tell us is good for us or our needs. Beauty is everywhere and it only takes one moment of immersion into something beautiful, however minute, allows a possibility of being pulled back into our own beauty, because we are one with that in our combined elemental nature. Nature brings enchantment back into our hearts and that enchantment can bring such changes to how we live.


Many treat nature as God and it is easy to see why and it is not wrong, but what I most appreciate is that it doesn’t see itself as either above or below. It just is, being, flowing and morphing from one manifestation to another without any concern for an external human or any other influence. It doesn’t have that need or awareness of that being necessary. It is sovereign and it encourages us all to be. It calls for us to get in touch with our souls and return to self, to the original.


To understand what I mean one only has to connect to something nature-based, anything of what you consider nature and in time a sight develops, things become clear, parallels are drawn and lessons learnt. There’s no greater teacher than our natural world and it will remain my religion, solace, happiness and peace.

Going home

Like a lover long gone it gently teases with its promise of pleasure

Like the first love long dead it stirs the ashes of my shaken heart into yarning

Like a smoke over the hills it entices me home

Like a river it washes off my worldly doings

You never were mine, will you be mine now?

Will you come like an old friend that never forgot?

Like an old wound that still remembers the pain of love

Will you heal with me in embrace eternal and sacred?

Will you die with me always knowing the love we shared?

Will you come home?