Unreachable, beyond awareness
Dead to the world
Alive to myself
Linked with the animal and land
And no more
Rejoiced in not found and lost
Until I call for it… if ever
I remain in a way of spirit
Like a ghost to the living
Like a flesh to natural
I am a flower petal as pink as the sky falling beyond the sea
A blade of grass the same colour as ancient hills beyond
I hide in small to become aware of the giant infinity of being
And out there I disappear, as angry feet stamp out all that’s soulful
Away from view yet looking through the brightest biggest window
Hidden away yet fully alive
‘Help yourself’ magic
There is nothing like spring coming back that invites us more into life. It calls for awakening from stillness and dreaming of dark winter. It pulls a body into a much needed stretch, into a new kind of movement and engagement with the world. It offers that space to hear a new song from within ourselves that had been hibernating and birthing in darkness.
It has been a tough winter for many in 2019 that made us stuck in chaos, confused and stalled, not much movement other than in dreams and other types of realities. The process had been necessary, as everything is always is, and the purpose of the ‘stuckness’ was to explore ourselves from a position of where we are and who we are, what are our realities and do they serve us. It has not been an easy download to understand and integrate, however, relying on intuition and instinct had been useful even those areas halted in space that invited asking help from outside. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with asking for help from outside when we are stuck and this can be particularly useful and necessary for those of us, who is not used to asking for help and instead there for everyone else. This was partly the work of this winter to get to know that pattern again from a perspective that actually it is absolutely ok to ask for that hand that we need to hold on to and it is ok not to lead once in a while. I also realised that when you do ask for help you then are able to help yourself better – an interesting insight, which manifested through some magical workings that also involved asking for help from the elementals. This is something I have not done before necessarily in this way, but, as always based on the intuitive knowing this is what came through.
I asked ‘Help me’ while in nature doing the work and two days later I got it. It came as a voice, a message, an insight that said ‘Help yourself’. It contained the energy of giving back to me the knowing and responsibility for my own healing. We are the best healers for ourselves without a doubt, but that does depend very much on our relationships with ourselves. Doing the ‘self’ work whether it is through a therapeutic relationship, spiritual practice, other activities, all of those together, will put you in touch with yourself like nothing else and that is the most important element to ensure one lives in a way that it ‘whole’, fulfilling and peaceful. Without a doubt the best gift of self work is you integrate back into what you were always meant to be with all your beautiful resources, qualities, unique gifts, resilience and potential intact. In order to get there we often need to ask for help, we need to learn to reach out and relate, connect without fear or judgement. We need to be vulnerable to become truly strong and grounded and we need courage and strength to be vulnerable when it is terrifying.
This spring feels already like a very nourished, turned over soil that is ready to share its bounty and wisdom with us if we are willing to be patient with our newly planted seeds, warm and kind with ourselves, accepting of all that we are, good and bad, twisted and glorious, strong and weak – all of that richness that is the soil of our bodies and the light of our souls. I am excited to see what is to come. It is all new again.
Every year’s signature contains an authenticity message at the heart of it. I believe it is the future and has always been something true evolution is made of. The energy of it will only increase with each year and that is the beauty in welcoming a new year where such opportunity exists.
The dream is about authenticity, true beauty, light and dark.
“I was given some stunning liquid of silver and gold that was meant to be put on a face like make-up. It felt luxurious on the skin and looked beautiful. I put it on all over my face and walked into a room with a long table where there were people sitting either side.
One side of the table loved it and admired my beauty. The other side didn’t like it and preferred me without it.
There was a dilemma for myself. What did I like? What did I want to do? ‘The mask’ continued to feel wonderful on my face and looked truly stunning. It gave me a certain advantage and edge, one might say.
In the next scene I am heading towards showers to wash my hair and there is a man, who says ‘if I wash my face off I will no longer be the most beautiful woman in the whole world and will become the second in line after some other woman that will jump to the front. The man smirked and had an expression of warning about it as if to say ‘really think about what you want to do, think twice…’.
There was another man in the room, who had light hair and appeared very quiet, calm with a soft face, the opposite to the first man. Looking at him I knew instantly he didn’t care for my ‘mask’ much or the way I looked at all. He saw through me, deeper.
I decided to get rid of my face make-up and leave my hair unwashed and instantly felt lighter and more grounded.
I took a hand of the blonde man and we walked outside to the light. He appeared to have something lodged in the inner corner of his left eye. A thin stick, a string of some sort. I said to him that I will attempt to pull it out, but it might hurt. This felt like something to do with the way he was seeing things and, perhaps, the object lodged obscured his true vision. I starts pulling the string out, it was very long. The man didn’t flinch or changed in any way, he just smiled gently at me.
We embraced and fell on the ground when I realised I had a pure white coat on and was lying in mud. For a second I was concerned but quickly relaxed and no longer cared in his arms whether my coat would get ruined. His support and acceptance was all I needed.”
One of the best dreams I have ever had
At the door of Samhain
At the door of Samhain what often becomes open to us are our own abilities, gifts and things that we had always known but haven’t utilised or engaged with either recently or ever. It is a magical time when we naturally align with what is truly ours. I feel more myself at this time than at any other time during a yearly cycle. It explains my birth date and my spiritual beliefs based on the wheel of the year and seasonal and elemental connections that I live by. I am not alone in this either and what I find profoundly present at this time of year is women in general coming into their own whether you are aware of it or not. Many of us love autumn, we feel stronger, fresher, more rooted in our beliefs and responsibilities. We know well how to be with families, friends, children and partners. It is as if we step in our innate power and it feels comfortable.
This time of year is not without its challenges, however. Even though it feel
Magically charged, injected with confidence and knowledge of our direction we can still get derailed by things we don’t want to be encountering. Precisely that is when interferences will occur and some questions within us will arise, which we can not ignore, questions that need answering. It is the last part of the year and an opportunity to look at what we really need to leave behind and what needs to die within us, so we don’t drag it with us into the new cycle. It is the last chance this cycle to have a clear out.
Some of the themes for me this past few weeks had been about looking at my beliefs, my convictions and my choices going forward. Clarity and simplification. Self-care fundamentals and focusing on others. Rebirthing my magical self that’s gone to sleep of late. Getting out of my own head and becoming lighter and quieter in every sense. Working on it all required pure honesty to the point it felt like parts of me needed to be modified, removed or adjusted somehow and I felt that physically. On several occasions my hands would go into spasm of a sort like something would be realigning within, which I have allowed. It is a scary yet empowering process. I have had dreams of suggestion of huge transformations inside and out, the kind of dreams that make you jump out of bed. Things have been changing within and around me and I have been remodelled into something already known, not new, but not previously utilised or something better equipped going forward. The process is not over yet but it is coming to an end in the next two weeks, which will mark Samhain first and then my 42nd birthday, a significant number in my personal spiritual journey.
Whatever is happening with everyone around the universe I wish you all safe, glorious and beautiful transformations this season.
Much love and many blessings!
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